Reflecting on the downward spiral

When finals week rolled around last semester, I remember just how much I really needed a hug.

A few friends and study buddies of mine and I had collaborated and booked consecutive time slots for a room in the library so we'd always have somewhere quiet to study. Most of us were knee-deep in preparing for 4+ exams in the hardest classes we'd encountered thus far in college. I was stressing out big time, wondering why I hadn't been more prepared for this.

We go into a semester knowing that half our final grade, or thereabouts, is dependent on our final exam scores. And yet, finals week just creeps up for months until it's real close and then hurdles at full force towards us in a matter of days. It doesn't help that our courseload is often doubled in the second half of the semester and that I, personally, wasn't getting much sleep, proper food, or exercise.

Yes, despite the looming dread of exams and final grades, I was falling behind on the material being taught to us since midterms. Why? How?? Simply because I'm ghastly at studying. Finding the perfect study method is difficult, even after over a decade of schooling. It's easy to say that I'm going to keep up with reading class material before every lecture until I realize again how mind-bogglingly dense and dry the textbooks can be. Or to get last minute help on an assignment from a classmate and convince myself I'll look over it again to make sure I understand but never have the "time" to follow through.

The incentive of getting those amazing grades at the end of the semester should be enough, but it isn't. It's perhaps too long-term. I find when I think long-term like that, I end up putting off assignments and studying because in the "long-term," there'll be someone there to fix my mistakes with no consequences to me; and that someone is my future self. That's right, I put things off because I know my future self will be there to pick up the pieces and - here's the scary part - I have no sympathy for my future self.

So how do I spare my poor future self from the unspeakable horrors mentioned above? Well, realizing that my present self and future self are one and the same gets easier when I set short-term goals. Suddenly, things don't seem so hopeless and individual assignments appear to be... more doable than before. That being said, it's important to understand and realize the bigger picture, but there's no point in stressing out about it. Take things one step at a time instead. Perhaps then, little by little, you'll achieve that ultimate long-term goal in the end. Your future self will certainly thank you.

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